These Burning Hands
by firenine
Summary: Duo starts having recurring nightmares and Hilde tries to help him. Being reluctant to tell her, Duo ends up doing the last thing he ever wanted to do. He ends up pushing his best friend away. Will they make it through together, or end up going their s
1. Chapter one: Indigo Discovery

These Burning Hands  
  
  
disclaimer: I do not own anything that has to do with Gundam Wing or its characters. I simply have borrowed them for my own sick pleasure [just kidding!], and I own nothing but the idea for this fic. Please don't sue me!!!  
  
  
AN: Before reading any further, please take the time to read my little message. This fic is entirely het and contains no yaoi or shounen-ai. You know why? Because it's my fic and those don't fit into the plot. So, please don't send me any flames. I've warned you even in the summary. If you don't like het fics, then this isn't the right one for you, okay? Thanks!  
  
  
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"Duo, you have to be strong for me, please. Know that I'll always watch over you no matter what, don't ever forget that. You're my best friend, my brother. Live for me, please. I know I don't have much time left, but that was what I wanted to tell you. I'll always love you, brother..." were Solo's last words before he fell into the open arms of death.  
  
This was the second time the Heavens stole something from Duo. Letting his tears flow freely, he watched as Solo's skin lost it's colour and turned a blueish hue. He cried knowing he was the only one left, no one to care for him, no one for him to care. Swiping furiously at his eyes, he held Solo's cold hand, praying that what he said was true.   
  
The night's air blew through the open windows and fluttered the thin drapes. Hilde stirred hearing moans, cries. Turning on her bedside lamp, she searched for her slippers and robes before exiting her room and down the hall. She knew where the noise was coming from. It was Duo and he must have been having another nightmare.   
  
'Third time this week. It seems to be getting worse,' she thought as she neared his door. Pausing, she hoped that him finally talking to her would lessen his inner pain. Turning the knob, she entered to see darkness greet her. Flicking on his lamp, she saw as the light flooded to room in it's dim glow. Her eyes met his shut ones, clenched together as tears dripped from his cheeks. Fisting sheets, he cried out.  
  
"No, Solo! Don't leave me, you're the only one I have left. Please don't die on me!!!" he shouted as Hilde moved to wake him.  
  
"Duo, please wake up. It's Hilde and you're having another nightmare. Please wake up, it's only me," she tried to coax him.  
  
Duo heard someone calling, a voice from the distance. It was faint, but strong in his heart.  
  
He woke suddenly, coughing. Wiping at his teary eyes, they focused on a pajama-clad girl.  
  
"Hil, how long were you there?" Duo asked, suddenly ashamed of his tears.  
  
She smiled at him and sat on the edge of his bed. "Only a minute or so. I heard you yelling and crying and I knew you were having another nightmare. Third one this week. Are you okay?" she asked.  
  
Duo looked at the sheets, colour draining from his face. "No, I don't think so. I don't know why this keeps happening to me. All that stuff happened years ago and I hadn't even started remembering it until now. Please just go Hil. I can't bear to let you see me this way," Duo said plaintively.   
  
Refusing to budge, Hilde moved closer to him. "No, I'm sorry. I can't leave you like this. What's hurting you so much? Please tell me, otherwise it might keep happening," Hilde coaxed.  
  
Duo was too stubborn and proud. "I can't tell you. It hurts so much to speak about it. I'm sorry Hilde. I know you care, but let me figure this out myself. Go back to bed, I'll be fine. Just, never mind," Duo tried to finish, but couldn't.  
  
Frowning, Hilde wondered why he couldn't trust her. Getting up, she grabbed his hand.  
  
"Duo, you know I'm always going to be here for you, all you have to do is ask and I'll come running. I wish you'd open up," she said before turning to leave. It absolutely broke her heart to know that Duo couldn't bring himself to tell her something that was bothering him for so long. Fighting tears, she glanced at him one last time before leaving.  
  
'You are an idiot, Maxwell,' his brain spoke. Smacking his head, Duo just realized that he pushed his best friend away. She needed to know his past, and he needed to tell her, or it would eat him up inside. Moving to flick his lamp off, he watched as the moonlight played shadows in his room. Folding his arms behind his head, he lay down and stared at the ceiling. Had he just lost another person dear to him?  
  
Hilde made her way through the darkness of the hallways, wiping teary eyes. She didn't think that Duo could be so- cold. All she wanted to do was help him, not force him to tell her.   
  
'I'm so foolish. What could possibly make me think that Duo would tell me anything? We've only been living together for three years, what difference does that make? A world of difference, that's what," she rationalized. She was torn between leaving their apartment, to free Duo from her, and she was planning on forgetting about the whole ordeal, but she couldn't. Slippered feet entered carpeted room and she flung her robe and slippers off before crawling under the covers.  
  
'I wish you trusted me, Duo,' she thought before falling into a fitful sleep.  
  
Meanwhile, in another room...  
  
Duo felt his eyelids begin to grow heavier each minute. He had to go to bed, hopefully the nightmares wouldn't resurface.  
  
'I'm sorry I pushed you away. Please forgive me Hilde,' Duo thought as he too fell asleep.  
  
Both of them hoped for a better morning.  
  
  
AN: So.... how did you like it? Am I fit for angst? Anyways, please be the nice person that I think you are, and review my fic please. I don't know if I should continue this story, so please review and let me know. Hope you had great summer, and hope we have an even better school year!!! Yeah... I hope so!!! Please review, thanks! 


	2. Chapter two: Memories of the Past

Chapter Two - Memories of the Past

  
  


disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing or its characters. I simply am borrowing them for my fic. Please don't sue me!!!

  
  
  
  


Hilde woke up, eyes still red from crying. She couldn't believe Duo said that. He was usually so open, so honest with her. Was he embarrassed that he cried? Ignoring the dull ache in her chest, she made herself get out of bed and get into her normal routine. Sauntering out of her room, she walked half-awake to the washroom to brush her teeth.

  
  
  
  


Duo sat awake in bed. He had gotten 2 hours of sleep after the nightmare. Bloodshot eyes blurred the objects in his room, and his head slightly pounded with lack of sleep. Staring forwards at his dresser mirror, he gasped. He really did look like death. His hair was pulled messily from his usual pristine braid, his eyes were swollen and red, and his clothes were twisted from tossing and turning. Groaning, he pushed himself out of bed and adjusted his black Shinigami pajamas before exiting his room to the washroom down the hall. Dragging his feet, he twisted the doorknob before knocking and came face to face with a sleepy looking Hilde brushing her teeth.

  
  
  
  


Hilde bent over the sink to spit her toothpaste out. Sleepy eyes blinked back at her in the mirror and she went to rinse her mouth when she heard Duo come into the washroom. Face reddening, she went back to rinsing her mouth, trying to ignore him. He moved to the sink next to hers and began to brush his teeth as well. An eerie silence between them hung in the air, moving along with the sounds of rushing water and gargling. Hilde finished first and walked out of the washroom back to her bedroom. Duo looked at himself in the mirror. Was he losing his best friend?

  
  
  
  


Hilde quickly stepped out of her long nightgown and walked to her closet for a sweater and jeans. Today was supposed to be cold, and she wanted to be warm whole day, since cuddling up to Duo just wasn't in the picture. Smiling at herself, she finished doing up the buttons on her blouse and made her way down to the kitchen to start breakfast.

  
  


Duo looked back at his reflection in the mirror. His sad violet eyes spoke so much. He couldn't even admit to crying. Frowning at himself, he heard Hilde's footsteps make their way down the stairs to the kitchen.

  
  


'She must be making breakfast now,' he thought as he walked towards his room to change.

  
  


Grabbing his usual black clothes from his closet, he neatly folded his own Shinigami pajamas and laid them neatly on his bed. Who would have thought Duo Maxwell could actually be neat.

  
  


Putting on a happy face, he tryed to act pleasant as he bounded downstairs only to find his nose greeting him to a wonderful aroma. His lungs filled with the savoury smells of frying eggs and bacon, the ones only Hilde could make so well. He found himself torn, what would he say to her? Would she pretend like him, or would she be angry, upset? He didn't know what to expect, and he was more than frightened to face her.

  
  


Hilde watched as the eggs sizzled and the bacon spat cooking oil. She knew Duo would be down any moment, trying to hide his embarrassment. She could even hea r his footsteps nearing the kitchen, sounding almost reluctant to come into the kitchen. It made her so sad to know that for once, Duo was being scared, around her.

  
  


Duo gulped and entered the kitchen, hoping Hilde forgot about last night.

  
  


"Morning, Hilde. Breakfast smells great as usual," he said as he sat down.

  
  


'He was pretending,' thought Hilde.

  
  


"Good morning to you too Duo. I hope you're hungry," she added, trying not to sound sad.

  
  


Duo could her it in her voice that she was disappointed, or upset.

  
  


"Always am," Duo said jokingly.

  
  


An eerie silence hung in the air between them and Hilde transferred all the eggs and bacon to a large platter. Setting it down in the centre of the table, she motioned for Duo to go ahead and eat.

  
  


Duo dug in, taking three eggs and seven strips of bacon. Hilde only filled her plate with some cut fruit, one egg and one strip of bacon. Eating in silence, Duo fished around on the counter behind him for the newspaper. Hopefully reading some news would calm his already hyperactive system. Hilde frowned at her plate. 

  
  


"Duo, what's wrong?" she asked, breaking the ice.

  
  


He looked up from his plate into her eyes. Clearing his throat, he set his fork down.

  
  


"Uh, nothing's wrong Hilde. I just feel tired, that's all. I'm sure I'll be back to normal by lunch. Don't worry about me," he said, trying to cover up his feelings.

  
  


Smiling at him, Hilde finished off her breakfast and headed to the sink to wash dishes.

  
  


Duo got up from where he sat and stopped her.

  
  


"No, I'll do the dishes today okay?" he said. He felt awfully guilty about pushing her away.

  
  


Hesitating, Hilde looked up at him.

  
  


"Are you sure? Or are you just doing the dishes because you feel funny?" she asked, suddenly regretting saying that.

  
  


"No, I just felt like giving you a break, that's all," Duo said.

  
  


"Okay, if you want," was her reply, before leaving the kitchen.

  
  


She walked quickly to her room, hoping she hadn't sounded too apathetic. 'Duo, what's wrong? I can't make you tell me, but I hope you can find it somewhere in you, to open up,' Hilde thought.

  
  


Duo ran the warm water and looked at the dishes.

  
  


Flashback

  
  


"Duo, come on! We just got this new apartment and we don't even have dishes. Here's a nice looking store," she said as she excitedly pulled Duo into a glassware/cutlery shop. She painstakingly searched each aisle, looking for exactly the right dishes, bowls, even salt and pepper shakers. At last, she found it. It was a set of 6. Beautiful ivory white bone china plates. Each having a small flower accent in the centre. 

  
  


"Duo, we *have* to get these!" she said. Eyes gleaming, Duo had to laugh. She looked so comical.

  
  


"Alright, but I'm telling the guys that you picked the dishes! I don't want them to start thinking otherwise about me, if you know what I mean!" he joked.

  
  


Giggling, she pulled him towards the cash register.

  
  


End flashback

  
  


Duo smiled. Those were the first set of plates they bought together. He knew it sounded cheesy, but he cherished what they had togther.

  
  


Reaching deep into the sink, Duo went to put the water plug, but his finger caught on a sharp knife.

  
  


"Kuso! Argh, stupid knife!" he yelled as he ran his finger his under the cold tap.

  
  


Upstairs, Hilde was in deep thought when she heard a yell. Jumping up, she ran downstairs to find a very distressed Duo, cursing himself for cutting his finger. Running to a draw, she pulled out their first aid kit and spoke.

  
  


"Duo, yelling and shouting won't stop it from bleeding. Sit down, let me see it," she ordered.

  
  


"But I wasn't only yelling, I ran it under cold water!" he protested.

  
  


Hilde had to laugh. "Duo, you run your hand under the cold tap when you burn yourself. Running a bleeding hand under a cold tap only washes the blood away. That cut looks pretty deep, so of course its gonna keep bleeding even after," she said, matter-of-factly.

  
  


Duo just shrugged as he sat down.

  
  


"Hey, how am I supposed to know that?" he joked.

  
  


Hilde smiled at him. Only Duo could say something stupid that would make her laugh.

  
  


Taking his hand, she examined the cut, noticing how deep it was.

  
  


"Alright Duo. I'm going to clean it with some alcohol. It's gonna hurt, try and be a big boy and be brave about it, okay?" she said sarcastically, then stopped. She thought he might connect her comment about him being a baby with him crying in his sleep.

  
  


Duo just smiled back.

  
  


Wincing, he felt his skin burn as the alcohol swab came in contact with the gash. The blood flow lessened and Hilde quickly added antibacterial ointment and bandaged his hand up. 

  
  


"All better?" she asked.

  
  


He looked at her.

  
  


"Yes, all better. Thank you. Actually, you know what? It still kinda hurts... kiss it and make it all better?" he asked.

  
  


She laughed at him.

  
  


"Duo, why you..."

  
  


Taking his hand, she pressed a light kiss to his bandage, careful not to apply too much pressure to the cut.

  
  


He couldn't believe she actually did it. He was just joking.

  
  


Their eyes locked. Cobalt hidden beneath ebony hair stared at violet. Energy surging through his veins, Duo pulled her closer.

  
  


"Duo, I-I-I," she stammered.

  
  


Folding her to his chest, he smoothed her hair, reassuring her that nothing would happen.

  
  


"Shh, Hil. Just wanna hold you, that's all. Thank you for bandaging me up," he said, voice slightly silky.

  
  


Hilde closed her eyes against his shirt fabric. Taking a breath, she smelled Duo. He smelled spicy, like cinnamon and mint. She would always remember every last trace of Duo, from his oddly violet eyes, his long chestnut braid, his silly jokes, his wonderful sense of humour. The list went on, but she felt something missing. His trust.

  
  


The day passed quickly, and Hilde found herself back at the apartment, preparing dinner. Bending, she opened the fridge drawer and pulled out various vegetables. Humming, she took the to the sink, washing each carefully. 

  
  
  
  


f l a s h b a c k

  
  
  
  


Relena had invited the whole gang to her mansion for a barbeque or as Duo referred to, 'an easy way to pull them together' get-together.

  
  


Hilde rummaged around the fridge and settled on making her famous German bundt cake. Gathering the ingredients, she set them all on the counter and reached above her to get her cookbook. Apparently, Relena had asked Hilde to make and bring one because she, quote, 'loved that cake to death'. Grinning, she set to making the cake.

  
  


An hour later, after it had cooled, Hilde decided to take a break and maybe nap a little. Walking to the living room, she flicked the tv on to see if anything was worth watching. Finding nothing, she arranged the cushions and promptly fell asleep.

  
  


Duo had come home from the scrapyard and found Hilde asleep on the couch. Taking a blanket, he covered her and went to the kitchen. Right away, his nose caught a lovely scent. Grinning madly, he knew it was Hilde's cake. Lips smacking, he grabbed a knife and began to cut a big slice for himself. He wondered what special occasion caused her to bake the cake. Happily taking large bites, he didn't know she woke up.

  
  


She knew Duo had come, maybe 20 minutes ago. Getting up, she smiled when she found herself covered by a blanket. Duo must have seen her. Walking to the kitchen, she heard the muffled mumbling of words coming from Duo. He must have been stuffing himself full with something. Gasping, she hoped that he hadn't begun to eat her cake!

  
  


Running to the kitchen, she sure enough found Duo eating the biggest slice of cake she had ever seen him stuff into his mouth. He took half the cake! 

  
  


"Duo Maxwell! You are in so much trouble with me. Why are you eating that cake?" she demanded.

  
  


Swallowing, he saw the fury in her eyes.

  
  


"Because you made it for me?" he said, scared.

  
  


"No, I did not make that for you. It was for Relena's barbeque. I don't even have enough time to make another one. Thank you so much for asking me," she said.

  
  


"You're welcome," he answered, joking.

  
  


Gritting her teeth, she frowned and stalked out of the kitchen, leaving a stunned Duo, mouth full of delicious cake.

  
  


E n d f l a s h b a c k

  
  
  
  


Hilde remembered that day. Duo did everything he could to make it up to her. He did laundry which he failed at, he cooked, and almost set the kitchen on fire, he vacuumed the living room, almost sucking up the curtains. Finally so tired of his 'good deeds', she forgave him and sent him to clean up each mess he had made.

  
  


They had really shared some nice times together. She wondered why now, of all times, their platonic relationship took a nose dive. Maybe because her feelings for him grew stronger. She no longer saw him as her best friend, she saw him as someone she could grow old with and someone who she would have children with. Maybe her conflicting emotions caused this. She wouldn't know until Duo told her what was wrong.

  
  
  
  
  
  


AN: Sorry that chapter dragged on. I just wanted you to get a good look at some past incidents between the two. It seemed like character building to me. Well... please review okay??? I really want to know what you think. You can tell me if its boring, but don't


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